Long Weekend

I love three day weekends. This one has been great. I've done a lot but also not a whole lot, if that makes any sense. My mother has been in town for the weekend. Tomorrow will be "Take your mother to work day." I'm excited! The kids know she's coming and are excited too. We've had a good time doing whatever we feel like doing. Today we went to go see Phantom. The movie is very well done, but not as good as the stage version in my opinion. There's just something about seeing a show live and in person.

It's really rainy today. At least that means it's somewhat warm. No heat wave by any means (unless you live near the Arctic Circle, I guess, in which case it's downright tropical!)

What's really been funny the last couple of weeks has been the predictions and accumulations of snow in some parts of the region. People here freak out whenever the word "snow" enters the forecast. We got a light dusting at our house last weekend, but nothing more than that. Places farther north from here (like the other side of Seattle) have had inches...it's paralyzing. That cracks me up. The people here are whimps when it comes to that beautiful four letter word! LOL

Not much else going on so I guess I'll end this one here.

A New Year

Well, almost a new year. 13.5 hours left in this year. 2005 has to be better than 2004 was. There's not much that could make it worse.

Christmas was fun. The GameCube is a huge hit, and the treasure hunt was fun. I had to help him out a lot on that. One of the clues was "Take a slow boat to China." He was supposed to go to the china cabinet. He was actually looking inside the cabinet (got there with my help - we played "Hot and Cold"), muttering "China, china, huh?" Then all of a sudden it hit him, "Oh! CHIna." He was being serious. It was too funny. He went out to the shed (one of the clues) and was disappointed because he thought it was going to be in there. It wasn't. Finally, he got the key to the trunk of my car and went out and got it. Of course the first words out of his mouth were slightly disappointing "Oh, Honey. You spent too much." Not the reaction I was expecting.

Christmas dinner was at his parent's house. All of the kids were there (there are 15 people in the immediate family, with Jeff's parents, sibs, their spouses, and kids.) It can get crazy, but it's fun. The top of my right foot is turning pretty colors, though. Jeff tried (accidentally) to close it in the recliner. That hurt!

I wish all of you a happy and prosperous new year! Bring on 2005. I'm done with 2004!

Dreams and Christmas

I've been having dreams about being pregnant again. Not that I am yet, but I'm taking that as just one sign (one sign among many) that it's time to try this again. I'm ready. Jeff's ready. Maybe in the next month or two...

My whole attitude/outlook on becoming pregnant again has really changed drastically in the last month or so. At the beginning of this month, I was still scared to death about what might happen when I get pregnant again. All of a sudden a couple of weeks ago, that whole thing changed. I know that I could miscarry again, but that those chances are fairly small. I also know that so many of my friends who have suffered a miscarriage went on to have totally normal subsequent pregnancies as well as that I am in several sets of good hands - God's, Jeff's (support-wise), and my OB's. I will be nervous, especially until we hit that 15 week mark. I am half expecting to want to go in to hear the heartbeat each week until we get confirmation via ultrasound that everything looks normal. I wonder if we'll get more ultrasounds than normal this time around? I actually think we might go out and get a relatively inexpensive stethescope (Michele-suggestions?) so that once we get to the 17 week mark, we can listen whenever we want, right in the comfort of our own home.

December is a very busy month for us. Jeff's and I work at a tree lot every year. The money is good, which is nice, but the hours suck. I see him maybe 5 minutes in the moring and then maybe 10 or 15 at night before we go to bed, if I'm even awake when he gets home. I'll be glad when Friday comes. No more late nights.

This is my first Christmas without my family around. It's going to be a bit odd because of that. At least we have Jeff's family nearby, and everyone will be home this year, which will be cool. Max is driving me a lot nuts with the tree and presents. He thinks the bows are there for him to play with, that the tree water is there for him to drink, that the ornaments are there for him to bat at, and that the space behind the tree is for him to hide in.

I'm sending Jeffy on a treasure hunt on Christmas morning. It's going to be a blast to watch. I'm going to have fun on Saturday morning! LOL I'm more excited about watching him open his presents than I am about opening my own. I think that's a good thing!

Enough for now. Have a wonderful Christmas!

I WON!!!!!

I just heard from the insurance company and I won! They are waiving both co-pays!!!! Our son's short life is now validated. I am so excited for this!

Two more weeks of school before Christmas break. My evening programs are done, with an afternoon choir concert sometime the last week, but we've already put on an evening program with this concert so there is nothing new to prepare for.

Updates

I talked with my OB's office yesterday (Wednesday) and asked specifically about my August appointment that the insurance was saying wasn't an OB appointment. I was correct. It was and OB appointment. The person at my OB's office I spoke with said that if I needed her to, she would send something to the insurance saying that my August appointment was pregnancy related. I think I have a pretty good shot of winning this one too!

Jeff and I are finally in Denver. We were supposed to get here last night but got involutarily voluntarily bumped - too many people and not enough seats on the plane because they had to downsize. Don't know why. We got put up in a hotel right by the airport last night, were given food vouchers for last night and this morning, two free tickets anywhere in the lower 48, and were on a 6:00 a.m. flight to Denver this morning. For those of you who know me well, you know that I am not a morning person and getting myself out of bed at 3:30 this morning was quite the feat! We are here! On to the cooking and then the eating!

Partial Success!

I heard from the insurance company today. So far they have forgiven(?) my co-pay for my second OB appointment. I am still dealing with them on the first one. They say it was a diagnostic appointment and not an actual OB appointment, since I didn't get my blood test done through the OB (mental note for next time - do the blood test for confirmation through the OB). Once I explained to the gal I've been dealing with that I had my confirmation blood test done in July at my check-up appointment with my GP for my sprained ankle, she said she would take that back to the board and see what she could get done. (I found out by home test the morning of that GP appointment that I was pregnant. Since I was going in anyway, I had them do the blood test. One less place to go, right?)

What do you all think? Who is right here? (If I'm wrong on my interpretation, please let me know. I'm not necessarily asking to be told that I'm right. I'm just not experienced in this.) Was my first OB appointment truely an OB appointment and not a diagnostic appointment even though my OB did a pelvic? The office staff at my OB's office gave me the impression that it was an OB appointment by what they said, ("Insurance companies do things different for OB appointments. Don't worry about the co-pay for now.") Oh ye wise doctors and medical types! (Michele, Kristen...)

Not even the full moon yet

The kids were off today. Really chatty, not themselves. I was about ready to clobber some of them. Especially my older ones. We were watching the program video from last week (Vet's Day) and they couldn't be quiet or calm, or respectful. I finally ended up turning off the video and starting on the next unit - American Musical Theatre. They know more than I though they knew about it. That's good.

It's been a long couple of days for me. One more long one to go, then a little bit of relief. I couldn't get to sleep on Sunday night until 3 a.m. I had loads of things on my mind, some dealing with school, some dealing with Jacob, some dealing with other personal things going on. I left home around 7:30 yesterday morning (Monday) and didn't get home until 9ish last night. After work, I had to go to a reading training (which makes how much sense for a music teacher who doesn't teach reading?) and after that was youth group. Today was 7:45-6:30, there was a music teacher's meeting after school. Tomorrow I have an appointment at 5:00. Won't get home until after 6:00. Get to battle bridge traffic since my appointment's in Gig Harbor. Joy. I'm ready for Thanksgiving. Forget that. I'm ready for Christmas break. Two weeks of no-brainer stuff. I can handle that!

As far as the insurance bit goes, in talking with my sister, who is in med school, she said that there should be no reason for them to make me pay the copays at this point since I didn't elect to end my pregnancy. I guess it makes sense that the insurance companies would have that policy in place for people who choose to end a pregnancy. Still, I'm going to take it as high as I have to or can if they don't grant my appeal at this level.

The Insurance Saga begins

I called the insurance company today and registered a verbal complaint. It has been registered and a decision will be reached in 7-10 days. I told the lady I talked with (who was very nice, btw) that it felt like they are adding insult to injury and that they are saying I was never pregnant. I told her that I saw my son and held him in my hands. I wonder on what grounds the decision will be made. Will they look at if I was doing anything that could have been considered risky or jeopardizing the pregnancy? I wasn't. Just one of those things. More on this when I get it.

We had yesterday off from school (Veteran's Day) and then one day back today. I was anticipating the kids to be in all states of chaos since the schedule got disrupted. Nope. One of the best days I've had all year! We weren't even missing that many kids, either. One key girl in my all-day kindergarten class being gone made a world of difference. It was calm in there for a change! LOL

Fighting the Insurance Company

That's what I'm doing now. I got a bill from my OB yesterday saying we owed copays for the two monthly check-ups I had, which while I was pregnant didn't have a co-pay. Since I miscarried and therefore didn't carry my son to term, I have to pay the co-pays. Granted it's only $30, which isn't much in the big scheme of things but still. It's the principle of the thing. I told the gal at the OB's office that I'm not upset with them, but that I think it is wrong. She agreed 100% and told me that one of their patients fought the insurance company on this same issue and won. I'm calling tomorrow, hopefully they'll be open since it's Veteran's Day. I'll keep everyone posted.

As for how I'm doing, let's just say my body is working like clockwork. Very predictable so far, which is nice. Now if I could just shake this darned cold/cough/sinus thing. The upper left side of my face feels like it's gonna 'splode. Ugh. I just took some sinus medicine so hopefully that will help.

Time for bed. I'm exhausted. Hopefully more tomorrow.

Back at Work

I went back to work this week. It is good to be back. The kids are wonderful. I had a 4th grader put a little sign on my front that said "Hug me!" The staff is also so supportive. My youngest kids don't completely understand what has happened, but I was expecting that. The older ones do and many have told me that they are sorry that the baby died. I've gotten lots of hugs this week, which has been really nice. They really lift my spirits.

Tomorrow is my first day back at my second school. I'm not sure exactly what the kids have been told so that will be my first order of business when I get there.

We have an amazing support system. I am part of an e-mail list made up of music teachers from all over the country, and even a couple abroad. One of my best friends on the list (hi, Patti!) was the one I asked to spread the news on the list. That prompted a mass of e-mails from people on the list, some expressing condolences, and others sharing their own personal experiences of losing children too early in pregnancy. One of the things I've learned this last week and a half is that lots of women have experienced the same thing. It's hard, but I'm doing ok. Jeff is very supportive of me and I hope he can say the same for me.

My parents flew up from Denver on Sunday night of last week and were here till last Wednesday. It was wonderful to have them here, even with the circumstances being as they were. There was a lot of crying and hugging. We talk daily.

One of the best things that happened that night was holding my son, whom we have decided to name Jacob, in my hands. He was still in the sack and looked absolutely perfect, from what I could see. The first thing I saw was his tiny behind and his legs, which looked like frog legs because they were so skinny and were bent at the knees the way frogs legs are. That part makes me laugh.

Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers, but know that we will be ok. Not right away, but we will be ok. I will keep up with the blog as our lives progress.

This is Michele, Stephanie's sister.

It is with great sadness that I write this post. Steph and Jeff lost their son very early in the morning this past Sunday. They were in Las Vegas with Jeff's family. Steph was able to see and hold her son. She and Jeff are very sad and are mourning their loss but, all things considered, they are doing very well. Jeff returned to work earlier this week but Steph is taking the rest of the week off to recover. She is doing well physically. I have talked with her many times and I am proud of how strong she is. I have all the faith in the world that they will get through this okay. She has said to me, "That which does not kill us makes us stronger." They have a strong faith and a wonderful, loving relationship which will no doubt see them through.

Steph returned to work briefly yesterday to visit, and was shown an outpouring of support. The regular teachers talked with their classes and answered any questions that the children may have had. They also know that any more questions should not be asked to Steph when she returns, but should be asked of their regular teachers. The children made her cards which are wonderful and are raising her spirits. She feels very blessed to be at a school like that where she is part of a family.

Please keep Stephanie and Jeff in your thoughts and prayers during this very difficult time.

I'm poochy!

14 Weeks, 2 Days

Retail therapy is good. My mother sent me a check last week to go clothes shopping. I did some of that today. In my newest belly shot, I am wearing the skirt, and one of the shirts I bought today.

I spent the weekend in Spokane visiting family and family friends. It was a good trip. I also had a gathering to attend for the music sorority I was in in college. It was weird being in Spokane and not going to my grandmother's. This was the first time I haven't had free access to the house. (For those of you who don't know, she passed away a little over a year ago.) There were lots of tears all weekend long. Last night I stayed with a friend of my mother's. I was able to sleep in 'til 9:15 this morning. It was really nice. I haven't slept in that late in I don't know how long.

We're waiting for Mount St. Helens to go. It's pretty exciting.

Things continue to go well. I'm still feeling great! I'm really excited for feeling the baby move in the next few weeks.

12 Weeks, 5 days

Whump, whump, whump! That is the wonderful sound we heard last night at our doctor's appointment. We heard her heartbeat! It took forever to find her, though. My doctor was actually about ready to do a quick ultrasound just to make sure that everything was still ok when we found her. Then she moved and we had to find her again...at least she's reacting to outside stimuli! That's a great sign. I was getting a little worried when we couldn't find her. Her heartrate is at 155 (or was last night.) I suspect it will get slower as she grows (Michele, am I right?)

My first trimester is officially over tomorrow. We've made it! I'm definately poochy now. I'm at the "is she fat or is she pregnant?" stage. ("I'm not fat, I'm PREGNANT!") I've lost count of how many times I've said that to Jeff when he teases me.

We bought a book of nursery rhymes to read to the baby. Come to find out, Jeff only recognized a few of them whereas I didn't recognize only one or two. The baby's going to know them all! The pictures are wonderful. Very colorful and they all have raised aspects to them. I love running my fingers over the pages and the cover.

I'm finally starting to get more energy. :-D I actually went to a meeting that lasted until 9 or so on Monday and was starting to get yawny, but made it home just fine! Yay! I got home at 6:45 tonight and am not dead tired. Yay!

12 Weeks, 1 Day

We had our 4-year-old niece today. She's a doll. Such a great kid. Loads of fun. Having her over for the day and observing our time with her gives me a glimpse into what our family life will probably be like. I'm starting to see my husband in an entirely different light than I ever have before. It's really neat. Very attractive. I find I'm falling in love with him all over again, in a much deeper way than before.

Jeffy does the cutest things. The other day, he went shopping and bought a huge box of newborn diapers (nearly 230 of them in the box!) They are sitting on the back porch right now, waiting to be used come April. Let's just hope that he realizes that the "Up to 15 lbs." means the weight of the baby, not the weight of the load produced by the baby. LOL He also went to Target earlier this week and bought me three shirts. He's so sweet! I got a good one!

Still exhausted. I'm calling it a night.

11 Weeks 6 Days!

I made it! Tomorrow I am 12 weeks pregnant! Yippee! The first major hurdle is done! I have my second appointment with the OB on Tuesday. I really hope we get to hear the heartbeat.

The kids at school are so funny! Bunches of them have made me cards of congratulations for the baby. Their biggest concern is that they get to see the baby after she's born. They're all so sweet.

Not many changes in how I'm feeling. Still tired (and ready to be over that part. I want my evenings back!). My appetite is getting bigger, though. I took a huge lunch to school yesterday and ate absolutely everything. I thought I had packed enough for a snack. Guess not. At least I've made a habit of having peanut butter and crackers (the Costco sized box six per package) at school ever since my second year of teaching. Having munchies at school is a good thing. Things should start getting pretty cool relatively soon - my belly should start growing and I'll be able to feel her move, hopefully by the end of this month. :-)

11 Weeks 1 Day

I finished my first almost full week of work yesterday. It's going to be an awesome year. Not even close to as stressful as last year, which is a blessing as I need as little stress in my life as possible right now.

Every September the Puyallup Fair happens. Opening day was yesterday. We went for dinner, the Rodeo, and the Brad Paisley concert. It was a blast. I don't think we've missed a rodeo in the last five fairs. I was dead tired when I got home from work yestereday and told Jeff (who was ready to go the second I walked in the door) that I needed a nap - either that or neither of us would enjoy the evening as I would be tired and cranky. I was still tired, but not cranky since I had rested for an hour. He's working a lot of shifts (with TicketMaster) at the fair so he'll be gone lots of evenings and at least one day of the weekends this month.

I'm really excited for Friday to come. First, it will be the end of the first full week of classes. Second, it will be the end of the first trimester. That means I'll start having more energy and won't be so tired. Frankly, I'm tired of being tired! Ugh. We've missed out on lots of reading time at night because I've been too exhausted to read.

I'm not sure how much time I'll have for posting now that school has started. It will probably happen mostly on the weekends but if anything cool happens, I'll be sure to get it up within a day or two. Our next appointment is on the 21st - hopefully we'll be able to hear the heartbeat.

10 Weeks 3 Days

Earlier last week I packed up most of my clothes that button at the waist, or at least don't have an adjustable waist. They weren't working for me anymore. As you can see from the picture I posted earlier, I'm still not showing, but said clothes are no longer comfy. I can walk in them, but sitting is impossible. This is that awkward stage of pregnancy where I'm not big enough for some of the maternity clothes out there (for instance, the pants with panels) but I'm too big for my regular clothes. I have enough maternity clothes that are created to work all the way through pregnancy (courtesy of either an adjustable elastic waist band - with a button I can place anywhere in the buttonholes in the waist band or, in the case of my jeans, a drawstring that I can tie.) They are so incredibly comfy! They also don't look too big on me, which is a plus. At present, comfy and stylish is the name of the game. We've discovered that Penny's is a great place for maternity clothes. We've dropped a fair amount of money there, but since we've taken advantage of sales and discounts (75-80% in some cases), we've also saved much more than we've actually spent.

Yesterday, Jeff and I went to the UW Huskies football season opener. They got trounced 35-16. It was really sad. We couldn't get the ball through the uprights, forward passes were non-existent (lateral passes were great!) and our running game was horrid. Fresno State was slated to win anyway, but not by that big of a margin. It was supposed to be a close game.

It was my first time inside Husky Stadium and that was neat. (It was also my first real college football game. Ever. Sure, I went to the UPS games, but those don't really count, mostly because the Loggers couldn't win a game to save their lives.) We saw lots of little ones dressed up in their Husky gear. Got me thinking about next year when we take our little one to her first game.

The fans were really into the Huskies, but were very poor sports when it came to the visiting team. They booth both the Fresno State University team and fans almost continually, starting with the FSU team entering the field. It was quite disappointing in my opinion. Maybe I'm just not into it enough to understand, but shouldn't we have been gracious hosts? Couldn't we have just cheered louder for the Dawgs and kept silent for the FSU team, or at least given them a polite welcome? Someone tell me if I'm way off base here. Do I just not get it?

Enough of that. Time to change the subject.

In 11 days, I will be through my first trimester! The last two months have flown by (I wasn't even counting for the first month or so, hence the two months instead of three). I can't believe how quickly things are going. I'm sure they will go even quicker now that I'm in school and busy.

Belly Shot #1 - Not much yet!

10 Weeks 1 Day

Yesterday was graduation day. The baby went from being an embryo to being a fetus. This means that most of the major forming of things (organs, etc.) is finished! Now it's mostly about getting bigger and developing those organs (and a few other things that haven't quite formed yet, but aren't as major as the organs) so she can survive in the outside world. Hopefully it will only be a few more weeks before I start feeling her move. I'm really excited about that.

Like I mentioned in my last post, Jeff and I both have colds. I was up at something like 7:30 this morning, but wasn't really awake. I napped most of the morning, waking up fully at 11:30. I feel so much better. I honestly don't even remember most of this morning.

Yesterday was also my first day with kids. It was really nice to be back in the classroom and teaching. I saw all of my students at Manitou except for the kindergarteners, who don't start up until Wednesday so I'll see them for the first time next Thursday. No school on Monday for Labor Day and then I start the year at Bryant, my main school. I've decided that I'm going to use the baby as a bribing agent with my younger students. I'm going to tell them that if they sing nice and strong, the baby will be able to hear them and will like it. I tried it with two classes yesterday and it worked like a charm! Tee hee! Kids can be so gullible sometimes! I remember that last year, my friend Angela's baby would move a bunch when the kids were singing, but he was pretty quiet when it was quiet. This is going to be a fun year!