Back at Work

I went back to work this week. It is good to be back. The kids are wonderful. I had a 4th grader put a little sign on my front that said "Hug me!" The staff is also so supportive. My youngest kids don't completely understand what has happened, but I was expecting that. The older ones do and many have told me that they are sorry that the baby died. I've gotten lots of hugs this week, which has been really nice. They really lift my spirits.

Tomorrow is my first day back at my second school. I'm not sure exactly what the kids have been told so that will be my first order of business when I get there.

We have an amazing support system. I am part of an e-mail list made up of music teachers from all over the country, and even a couple abroad. One of my best friends on the list (hi, Patti!) was the one I asked to spread the news on the list. That prompted a mass of e-mails from people on the list, some expressing condolences, and others sharing their own personal experiences of losing children too early in pregnancy. One of the things I've learned this last week and a half is that lots of women have experienced the same thing. It's hard, but I'm doing ok. Jeff is very supportive of me and I hope he can say the same for me.

My parents flew up from Denver on Sunday night of last week and were here till last Wednesday. It was wonderful to have them here, even with the circumstances being as they were. There was a lot of crying and hugging. We talk daily.

One of the best things that happened that night was holding my son, whom we have decided to name Jacob, in my hands. He was still in the sack and looked absolutely perfect, from what I could see. The first thing I saw was his tiny behind and his legs, which looked like frog legs because they were so skinny and were bent at the knees the way frogs legs are. That part makes me laugh.

Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers, but know that we will be ok. Not right away, but we will be ok. I will keep up with the blog as our lives progress.